Last week, my wife and I
went to the see the newest film adaptation of Louisa May Alcott's semi auto-biographical novel, 'Little
Women', which was simply wonderful.
I have long
been a huge fan of this story, perhaps because I can relate to the tale of
four headstrong young ladies, which remind me of my own four daughters! The
March girls don't have an easy time, growing up during the American Civil War,
with a father who is absent for most of the time and who gets wounded in
battle, but this is more than compensated for by the presence of their gentle
and stoic 'Marmee'.
Amongst the
many events that take place, a few stand out in my mind, most notably, the
rivalry between Amy, the youngest of the girls and her older sister Jo, an
aspiring writer.
In one pivotal
scene, Jo and Meg have been invited to the theatre by their neighbour, the
handsome Laurie. Amy begs to come along but is refused from doing so by Jo,
even though Meg (the oldest sister) would gladly relinquish her seat. Whilst the girls are out, Amy
spitefully finds Jo's manuscript hidden in a drawer and gleefully sets it
alight, burning the entire tome.
Jo only
finds out about this the next morning when she searches for the said
manuscript. The ensuing
scenes demonstrate Jo's fury at her sister's actions as she refuses to speak
with her.
As an only
child, I was never privy to the vagaries of sibling rivalry. I was fortunate in
that I didn't grow up needing to share my valuable possessions with others. As
a father of a progressively increasing family, I found it challenging to
understand the concept of siblings fighting over clothes and needing to mark
their territory, both figuratively and physically. It was a
concept that was simply alien to me.
At the same
time, my one wish for as long as I can recall, was to be blessed with a sibling (preferably a brother).
With all of
this in mind, I wonder how it must have felt to have been Joseph, now that he
was reuniting with his brothers?
The Torah's
recording of that moment is described vividly in this week's Parsha:
(3) Joseph
said to his brothers, “I am Joseph. Is my father still well?” But his brothers
could not answer him, so dumbfounded were they on account of him.
(4) Then
Joseph said to his brothers, “Come forward to me.” And when they came forward,
he said, “I am your brother Joseph, he whom you sold into Egypt.
Can you
just imagine the scene?
How dumbfounded
the brothers must have felt when Joseph revealed his identity to them?
What could
they say?
Like Jo
(his namesake), Joseph's anger towards his brothers (aka Amy) could have
resulted in his not wishing to communicate with them again.
But here we
are, with his brothers having fallen deeply into the bottomless pit of
despair brought on by a drought in the region - he is giving them a lifeline,
despite everything that has happened.
He
continues:
(5) Now, do
not be distressed or reproach yourselves because you sold me hither; it was to
save life that God sent me ahead of you.
Reading the
story carefully, we note that Joseph is very quick to move on from shocking his
brethren to ensuring that they know they are forgiven and that, as far as he is
concerned, he would like to "move on".
Going back
to 'Little Women', soon after the fight, Jo and Laurie go skating on the frozen
lake near their home. Amy follows them and falls into the freezing water, only
to be saved by Jo – who too provides her sister with a literal ‘lifeline’.
As Amy
recuperates in bed, Jo blames herself for what has happened and realises that
she could have been responsible for Amy's death. The burnt manuscript becomes
but a memory.
Knowing
myself, I would have probably rowed with my brother and hopefully made up,
because he could have been the only person who would have truly understood the
person that I am.
Modern and
ancient history is replete with stories of sibling rivalry that has torn
valuable foundations apart.
In music -
can you imagine what musical gifts we could have received had Ray and Dave
Davies not let their fraternal squabbles sink the wonderful Kinks?
What if
Noel and Liam Gallagher, the talented brothers behind Oasis had not squabbled
and destroyed the excellent group that they had formed together?
What about
the rivalry that converted the harmonious melodies of the Everly Brothers into
single voices? It took nearly thirty years for them to reunite, fortunately
before Phil died in 2014. What a lost opportunity!
The book of
Bereshit is replete with instances of sibling rivalry, some of which lead to
reconciliations like that of Isaac and Ishmael and to a certain degree, Jacob
and Esau - and those that cannot be repaired, like Cain and Abel.
And as we
reach the end of the book, we realise that, like Jo and Amy, Joseph and his
brothers are examples of how precious sibling relationships are.
In my case,
it will always be a question of what if - but I'd like to believe that were I
to have had a brother, I would still be close to him, through thick and thin.
As we look
towards the Book of Shemot and marvel at the love between Moshe, Aharon and
Miriam, we see that, at the heart of a truly great nation is a truly great
relationship between siblings.
After all,
this nuclear family was the beacon that Gd used to guide us through the desert
into the land of Israel!
Shabbat
Shalom.
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