Ki Tissa: Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

 It was around the thirtieth anniversary of the death of Roald Dahl, the gifted mind who gave the world 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory', 'James and the Giant Peach', 'The Witches', 'The BFG' and other classic books, that the following notice appeared on his official website:

‘The Dahl family and the Roald Dahl Story Company deeply apologise for the lasting and understandable hurt caused by Roald Dahl’s anti-Semitic statements.  Those prejudiced remarks are incomprehensible to us and stand in marked contrast to the man we knew and to the values at the heart of Roald Dahl's stories, which have positively impacted young people for generations.  We hope that, just as he did at his best, at his absolute worst, Roald Dahl can help remind us of the lasting impact of words.’

This was followed a few weeks later, on 12th February by another admission of guilt on Twitter by the world-famous pop star, Justin Timberlake.  He wrote:

‘I have seen the messages, tags, comments, and concerns and I want to respond.  I am deeply sorry for the times in my life where my actions contributed to the problem, where I spoke out of turn, or did not speak up for what was right.  I specifically want to apologize to Britney Spears and Janet Jackson both individually, because I care for and respect these women and I know I failed...’

Lest we forget why these apologies were issued, let us remind ourselves of the events that led to their appearances.

Roald Dahl was no friend of the Jewish people.  In a now infamous interview in the New Statesman in 1983, he said:

“There is a trait in the Jewish character that does provoke animosity, maybe it’s a kind of lack of generosity towards non-Jews...I mean, there’s always a reason why anti-anything crops up anywhere.” 

As if he hadn't caused enough offence, he added,

“Even a stinker like Hitler didn’t just pick on them for no reason.”

Justin Timberlake, who had dated the teenage pop singer, Britney Spears, did not specify exactly what he had done to shame her in public (as per his admission).  He also acted improperly after the embarrassment caused by the notorious incident involving Janet Jackson at the Super Bowl performance in 2004.  Whilst she was severely excoriated by the media, he exonerated himself, leaving her to bear the brunt of the ugly aftermath.  Her career stagnated whilst his soared.

We have become used to numerous politicians and occasional sports personalities having to issue half-hearted apologies to salvage their careers.  It is, however, unusual to witness two admissions of guilt so close together that seemingly appear to be genuinely felt.  No doubt Mr Timberlake's confession will have come to the fore as a result of the widely discussed documentary on Britney Spears, but the language seems to indicate that he had been dwelling on his actions for a considerable amount of time.  I would like to believe that the same applied to the family of Roald Dahl who seemingly waited for an opportune moment to try, as it were 'to clear his name'.

How could they have reached a higher spiritual and physical peak?

Having survived hundreds of years in captivity and witnessed the greatest empire in the known world brought to its knees by the Ten Plagues and the splitting of the sea, the Israelites wanted for nothing.  They were fed on a daily basis, provided with their every need and had been given the extraordinary gift of the Torah by no less than the Master of the Universe Himself.

And then it all went so terribly wrong.

Bernie Taupin's lyrics to "Sorry seems to be the hardest word", sung so beautifully by the writer of the melody, Elton John sum up the difficulty we all have in apologising:

"What I got to do to make you want me?
What I got to do to be heard?
What do I say when it's all over babe?
Sorry seems to be the hardest word."

 © Hst Publishing Ltd., Rouge Booze Inc.

 

Then the Lord said to Moshe, “I have seen this people; it is a stiff-necked people so do not try to stop Me when My anger burns against them.  I will put an end to them and make of you a great nation.” ( Exodus 32:9 :)

Can we put ourselves in Gd's position and understand His rationale?

Of course, we cannot do this because we are human but we understand the anger that comes about as a result of ingratitude and betrayal.  We appreciate why Gd, Whose Ten Commandments began with the statement that they should remember that He and only He was their (and our) Gd - there could be no other.  Yet, here they were, worshipping a Golden Calf in His stead.

Gd wanted to destroy the people and reboot the Israelites through Moses, the Lawgiver, the only human that:

The Lord would speak to Moshe face to face, as one person speaks to his friend. (Exodus 33.11)

In this week’s sedra, we find ourselves at the first crossroads in our burgeoning existence.  It is literally 'touch and go' and we see that Moses' response was a masterstroke to assuage Gd.  The offshoot of his efforts are that:

                The LORD relented from the Evil He had spoken of doing to His people (Exodus 33.11)

This is not to indicate that Gd was any less angry with us than before.  The long conversations between Gd and His servant are reported throughout the rest of the sedra, to the point where Moses has to almost sacrifice himself to prove his dedication to ensuring the survival of the nation he has led out of slavery.

The long road back to both forgiveness and renewal only takes shape once Moses descends the mountain with the second set of Tablets on the 10th Tishri, which hitherto we know as Yom Kippur.  To reach that point, though, he has to say 'sorry' in a way that the Lord will accept his plea and we, the Jewish people will be able to employ to ask for our own forgiveness.  Through our Selichot.  Our prayers of supplication.

The apology apparently sincerely offered by Roald Dahl’s family and Justin Timberlake himself are the first step to proving that although 'sorry may be the hardest word', it is one that opens a channel for reconciliation and renewal.  But like Moses' first tentative steps on Mount Sinai, it is not enough to totally convince their audience that their previous misdemeanours have been completely forgiven.  We will judge the veracity of their statements by how both entities behave in the future.  Will the family of Roald Dahl do anything more to demonstrate their desire to build bridges with the Jewish Community?  Will Justin Timberlake act in an improper fashion in the future?  Only time will be able to show us.

It took much more for Moses to introduce the concept of praying for forgiveness on the holiest day of the Jewish calendar.  That we still need this day 3,333 years later attests to the fragile relationship between the wrongful actions we do and the reparations we need to make to fully apologise to both our peers and the King of the Universe.

Because, after all these years, sorry still seems to be the hardest word - and that's not necessarily a bad thing.  It might be difficult to apologise, but if it is truly meant, it can also be one of the most beautiful five-letter expressions in the English language.

Shabbat Shalom.