Parashat Vayechi: Legacies and Values

Dedicated to the memory of Daniel Rubin zl

Yankel and Miriam have been married for seventy years.  Sitting on what will soon become his death bed at the age of ninety-five, he is surrounded by his wife and five children, David, Max, Josh, Bobby and Hannah.  He speaks slowly in a barely audible voice.

“David, my eldest son, when I die I want you to take over the running of the business.”

David replies, “Yes, Dad.”  At which point, Miriam looks at Yankel and says, “Yankel, I know how close you feel to David but he’s not cut out to be a businessman.  Better, you should give the responsibility to Max.  After all, his last three companies have been successfully trading on the Stock Exchange.”

Yankel looks at Miriam and says, “Ok, Miriam, Max can run the business.”

He then looks across the bed to Josh and says, “My wonderful Joshua, you’ve always admired my 1952 Bentley Mark VI Special and I know how much you enjoyed accompanying me when we used to take it out for a spin.  I want you to have the car.”

Before he can answer, Miriam says, “Yankel, have you seen how many points Josh has accrued?  He’s barely legal!  Better, that you give the car to David as he’s such a careful driver.”

Yankel looks at Miriam and says, “OK, Miriam, David gets the car.”

He continues.  “Bobby, do you remember how we used to play golf near the cottage in the Cotswolds every summer when you were growing up?  I want you to have the house.”

To which Miriam cuts in again, “Yankel, are you mad?  Bobby doesn’t know the first thing about running a home.  Have you seen the hovel he lives in?  You know what, why don’t you leave the cottage to Hannah instead.  She will be so house proud and don’t forget that she’s getting married in the Summer.  She and Adam love the area.”

Yankel turns to Miriam and mustering all the strength that remains in his body, says, “Miriam, please remind me as to who is dying, is it you or me?”

This joke is redolent of the Jewish attitude to death.  In his final hours, when Yankel should be concentrating on affirming the legacy that he’s spent his entire life creating, he is frustrated by his wife’s interference in his final plans.  The joke is funny because both Yankel and the audience know that she’s right.  It’s just that he’d like to be given the opportunity to have the final word!

This week’s Parasha of Vayechi, in tandem with its Haftarah, focuses respectively on the last days of Yaakov Avinu/Jacob and David Hamelech (King David).  Surrounded by their heirs and successors, they were aware of the legacies they were about to leave behind and the values that they wished to transmit to their children and future generations.  In both cases, these would significantly impact on the spiritual development and long-term survival of their descendants.

Yaakov and David were acutely aware that seated before them, were men whose actions could either unite the Jewish (or in those days, Israelite) nation or tear it asunder.

Yaakov blessed each of his sons individually, along with his grandsons, Efraim and Menashe.

Knowing his son’s characteristics, he also admonished them, making them aware of their faults. as we see in the brachot bestowed upon Reuven, Shimon and Levy.  Despite his initial wish to let the sons know what would happen ‘at the end of days’ (details of which were hidden from him by Hashem), he was still able to prophesise what could (and sadly did) transpire if the relationship between the brothers (and by extension, tribes) fractured.

His children and their progeny surrounded his bedside in a rare moment of unity and he died satisfied in the knowledge that his legacy was secure and that the values that he, and by extension we the Jewish people, the Bnei Yisrael hold so dear, had been transmitted to future generations. 

What more could anyone ask for?

King David wished to ensure exactly the same thing.  The greatest ruler we have ever had urged his son, the soon-to-be-enthroned King Solomon, to follow Gd’s commandments and rule wisely and justly.

However, he was not so fortunate.

He had spent much of his life on the battlefield but his most deadly enemies were none other than his own sons, Avshalom/Absalom and Adoniyah.  Add to that, he encountered the treachery of friends that he thought he could trust.

Unlike his ancestor Yaakov, his words were replete with bitterness and recrimination.   He instructed his son to ensure that his general, Yoav ben Tseruyah, was held accountable for the deaths of Avner and Amasa, two potential rivals as well as Avshalom, “do not let his greying head go down to the grave in peace” and reserve a similar fate for Shimi ben Gera the Benjamite who cursed him when he was fleeing Avshalom.  After asking Solomon to show kindness to the children of Barzilai, who acted favourably to him in this flight, his last words before he died, were “And now, do not consider him [i.e Shimi] innocent, for you are a wise man, and you will know how to deal with him, and you bring down his grey head to the grave in blood.”

These are clearly not the words of a man at peace with himself.

However, in death, their legacy is intact.

Jacob and David’s passings are described thus:

‘When Jacob finished his instructions to his sons, he drew his feet into the bed and he expired and he was gathered to his kin.’ (Bereshit 49.33)

‘And then David slept with his fathers and was buried in the City of David.’ (Kings I.  2.10)

Both Yaakov and David’s lives were shaped by the relationships they had with their children.  Families are complex entities that can impact us in ways that we could not predict.  This does not mean that we should ever compromise on what we believe in.  Each of us has a legacy to leave to our loved ones, be it our children or the friends that we consider to be like brethren.

The values that we cherish are those that need to be passed on to ensure that future generations continue to bear the moral compass we hold so dear.  In their own ways, Yaakov Avinu and David Hamelech accomplished the same thing, albeit in very different circumstances.

It is due to their actions that we are here today, as proud bearers of the religion that they forged and which was built upon by later generations.  We proclaim David to be ‘Melech Yisrael’ – the King of Israel who is alive and enduring (‘chai chai vekayom’) and Yaakov’s name, Israel is hardwired into our DNA.

Please Gd, it will be a long time until we find ourselves in the same position described in this week’s Parasha and Haftara, but if we have established a lasting legacy and are able to continue transmitting our values, we too will live forever in the hearts and minds of future generations.

Shavuah Tov.